A time for change

I don't blog on here much anymore but why not? So here I am.
2011 has been one of the most stressful, most back aching, most tiring, most depressing and most head-bashing years of my life.

Look, I've never been a happy person, nor will I ever be a happy person, but this year takes the cake for "worst year ever", first of all, grandpa dies right when the majority of my family was on vacation in México, me and my girlfriend breakup, a ginormous flood hit my parents' farm and caused my dad to not be able to do his livelihood for an entire year (or possibly more), and to top it all off.. I'm still unemployed.

I have a BA in Political Science, I've had numerous job interviews this year (thankfully), but even with all that, I can't get a job. I have a few reasons why:

1. I get too damned nervous in an interview. Mentally, I'm fine, but physically, I shake and my voice trembles. The reason behind this is because there's a part of my body that knows I won't get the job, so it sends a message to my body to "do its best" in the interview, causing me to shake, and seem non-confident. This hurts my chances at the interview, even if I'm qualified.
2. Employers don't take my application seriously. They're not going to hire a kid from Brandon, Manitoba for an entry level job in Montréal.
3. Employer DOES take it seriously and asks me to come to Montréal for an interview in two days time. I can't do that as I have no money in the bank as it is to GET to Montréal. If I didn't get the job, then I'm out $500+.
4. There's no jobs in Political Science. One of my best friends does policy for a government and he's worried that he will be out of a job soon.

Then there's the whole living in Brandon issue. People here suck. This isn't a friendly place, the people here aren't welcoming and it's impossible to make friends at all. That being said, I do have a few kickass friends here, but I need to get out of Brandon. But it takes lots of resources to move from a dirt cheap apartment to a city with an apartment that may cost a lot more in rent.

I'm not a confident individual, it has to do with being told my entire life by almost everyone around me that I'm not going to achieve anything. Heck, my own mother doubted that a political science degree would amount to any jobs.. she was right. That doesn't stop me though. In the meantime, I still try to apply for jobs at Walmart and Superstore, with little to no success. With the lack of confidence, when I'm around people, I get a vibe that people are creeped out by me, weirded out by me or just that they don't want me around. As someone with low self confidence and usually being absolute oblivious to everything around me in my environment, I can somehow pick off vibes from others.. and usually.. the vibes are 100% correct. Fake smile and raising eye brows while shaking their head? Of course.

So, what have I tried doing? Well, I've kept doing the job search. Sometimes it's successful enough to get an interview or two, other times - nothing. 

Also, I exercise EVERY day. I don't exercise as much as most people or do as intense exercises, but for someone who never really cared for exercising, I need a change. I've lost twenty pounds since July and looking to lose enough weight in time for March. If I'm still unemployed in March, I'm considering joining the Army. I'm sick of sitting around, getting older with a BA, unhired. So, why not join the Army? 

My main goal is to get fit, look at least somewhat presentable, and get a job in the Army, or else move to Montreal or Ottawa early next year. I want to experience life, make new friends, try new beers, meet a nice Francophone girl and be able to afford to finally save money for my future. I've worked too hard to still be absolutely nowheres in my life.