Update - Goals for the next 9 months (Feb '10)

Hey everyone, just an update for my goals that I set back in February, that I said I had to accomplish by November:

1. Get a job. Simple as that. I would prefer a full time job, but even a part time job would do. I just need a regular source of income coming my direction. <----- Yeah, I still don't have a job, and today is September 20. I know I will be unemployed for quite a bit longer. My girlfriend is furious with me over it, as is my family. When I talk to people I haven't seen in a long time, it looks bad on my part for being unemployed. 
   
2. Get out of this dump. I have been living here for 6.5 years (wow) now and this building probably has reduced my life expectancy by a decade or two. It's disgusting.. mice are roaming free, mold everywhere (not to mention black mold), a room mate saw asbestos, plus there are water leaks in the building every spring. I need to find an apartment for myself, finally a place where I don't have to share the TV or deal with peoples dishes or anything (or people stealing my food). <----- I still live there to this very day, and it's just as disgusting as back then. My favourite room mate is moving out right now, he bought a trailer as he got a job. Congratulations! One of the room mates PISSES in the bath tub, which is apparently something normal with "most" guys, but when the entire bathtub/shower smells like strong urine, it's DISGUSTING.
   
3. Save up. Save up money for a rainy day, for a trip, anything. I want to do something such as go to SxSW in 2011, or even a hot vacation. <----- Did alot of saving up, I saved up several hundred dollars (well thanks to family, so it's not really saving) to go to Winnipeg Folk Festival. Now my iPhone is cracked and near death so I'm trying to "save money" for a new iPhone. Frankly I'm sick of paying $80/month when MTS offers the same plan for half that!
   
4. Travel more. I'm a bit of a travel bug and in the past year or so, the furthest I've been was to Winnipeg, and that's only 3 hours away. I need to do road trips more.. go to places like Minneapolis, or even Quebec, Edmonton or beyond! <----- Still wishing I could travel more.
5. Take more photos. This is something I work on every day. I need to take more photos of my surroundings. If I see something of interest, take a photo of it! Also need to remember: landmarks on the prairies don't last long, while they may be here one day, they may not be there the next. <----- That's something I've successfully worked on more!
6. Lose weight. I've been doing an alright job counting calories/carbs/etc lately, I need to be more outgoing, maybe need to go for a walk/whatever more. I've been doing not bad for that lately. Walking to Timmies and back is a decent walk (2km each way). <----- Been very unsuccessful with that lately, my weight always stays the same, even if I never eat, or always eat.
   
7. Make new friends. I've always had problem making friends. I need to make new friends who are more than just random acquaintances that I may bump into once a year type of thing. <----- This is something that will never change, like it or not. I remember working on various clubs around university, hoping to make new friends, in the end I get screwed over, get made fun of behind my back, be called incompetent, in the end not making any more friends. It's still like that to this very day. I volunteer, try to do the best at anything I can, I manage to lose more friend than gain it seems. I know I'm fucking pessimistic, but cmon, I need to stop being such a fucking loser. When I'm talking to people and say "oh my friend blah blah blah blah", in reality, the "friend" is someone I've chatted to on Twitter maybe once, twice in my life and don't know them in real life. It's always been that way. I AM an attention whore, mainly because I was always ignored whenever I thought I did something well.
   
8. Stop being as stubborn when it comes towards cleaning up after myself. If I need to take out the trash, take it out, instead of letting it build out. Etc. I've always been bad at this. I guess it's because I was used to being cleaned up after when I was young. <----- This will NEVER change it seems lol
   
9. Treat myself a bit. I don't mean by splurging on going to Timmies on a day I shouldn't be. Treat myself with stuff when I am able to do well for my life. If I save up a large sum of money and meet my goals, get a brand new TV for it, but nothing too fancy. If I'm able to reach my goals, I should be able to have a bit of fun with my life! Also that means (as part of #2/#3), I should travel more, but make sure I can afford anything I do. If I have to second guess myself, then the answer will be no! So if I am wanting a car say 9 months from now, it will all come down to: "will I be able to afford it?", "is the bus system that horrible?" etc, if the answer is no for either answer or if I have to think, then it's not worth it. <----- Well I need a job to treat myself first.
   
10. Be more positive. I worry too much, I complain too much. Need to stop thinking that people are saying shit about me. Chances are, it may be happening but the people who say that need a life and they don't matter, their problems are probably worse than mine. <----- I still treat myself like shit. Why? Mainly because that's how I grew up. I grew up getting told by anyone and EVERYONE I was worthless, fat, a loser, all that sort of thing, so that negativity stays to this very day. I CAN be uber confident when I need to be, but ever since I graduated university, all I ever told myself was that I'm worthless, I cannot find a job because I'm stupid, that I'm lazy, and nobody wants to hire me. With never hearing back from employers, playing the waiting game, it only makes it worse. On the upside, I had a meeting with a client of a relative of mine. He gave me feedback on what he saw at the "mock interview" he gave. He said that I'm smart, when I get nervous I talk really loud (I don't notice it, but it explains why my throat goes very dry during interviews). I wish I was confident in myself, but I really do need help (but help hasnt helped jack all in the past). If only I got A chance at a good job. I know I'd do well. I'm a slow learner, and I'm slower than the average person at working, but I like to keep myself busy, do a great job and please the employer. I remember on several calls working at the call centre, customers would call in and at the end of the call say that I'm the best CSR rep they've ever had, but the employer would get pissed off that I helped the customer too much instead of selling unneeded services!

Photo of the day - Sept 14 - Small town train station

Small town train station, originally uploaded by Cody La Bière.

one of two train stations in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba

Photo of the day - September 4, 2010 - Prairie giant

Prairie giant, originally uploaded by Cody La Bière.

Today's photo is entitled "Prairie giant", a silhouette in the early evening of a massive concrete & steel grain elevator

Photo of the day - September 3 - Sunset/Harvest

Sunset/Harvest, originally uploaded by Cody La Bière.

It's harvest season, a time when the farmers rush to get their crops all cut and sorted into graineries in time for before the first snow storm of the season hits (sometime in the next month or two). As each day passes, the nights start earlier and earlier, and before you know it.. it will be pitch black at dinner time. It's evenings like this that remind me that there was once a summer evening here on the prairies, when the mosquitos bit, when the beers were plentiful and when the farmers were haying away.